Did you know that up to 65% of divorces are caused by poor communication?
Case Studies
This page displays two case studies: a 'Couple Spread' and a 'Single Spread'.
Example 1: Single Spread for 'Zoe'
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Zoe started her journey married and happy.
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She is now feeling depressed due to a separation.
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She is also feeling very lonely.
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There is a new partner on the scene with her estranged husband.
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She is fearful that her estranged husband is sleeping with another.
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She also fears a divorce.
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She appears to others to be sociable.
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Zoe's desired outcome is a reconciliation.
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She recognises that therapy is required.
Benefits of the exercise:
Zoe has laid her overwhelming emotional situation onto the Spread Mat to gain a wider perspective of what is going on. She can see what influences are affecting her, how they feed into her fears, and she can also see that her desires may conflict with her estranged husband's behaviour. With this clarity, Zoe recognises that it may help her to visit a therapist to navigate the separation, and to give her coping strategies for what the future may hold. Zoe also sees - perhaps for the first time - the main triggers for her depression.
Example 2: Married Couple
Husband Spread
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The husband started his journey in love.
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He is now influenced by the death of his mother.
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He is also overworked.
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He finds it hard to talk about his emotions.
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He fears a separation.
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He has a desire for a reconciliation.
Wife Spread
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The wife started her journey in the same place.
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She feels her husband has 'checked out'.
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She feels alone.
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She is met with silence.
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She also fears a separation.
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They both desire a reconciliation.
Benefits of the exercise:
The husband and the wife started in the same place - in love; the wife can now see that her husband is struggling with the death of his mother and finds it hard to talk about his grief, compounded by being overworked. The consequence is that she feels 'shut out'. She had the impression that he wanted a separation, but they both fear that outcome and want to recover their relationship. By completing this exercise, the husband was able to address his emotions without the pressure of articulating them verbally to a stranger at first instance (which he finds very difficult). He and his wife were both able to take an overview of the situation, put it into perspective, see each other's viewpoint, reveal the main sources of stress, and can now find a way forward together, with the help of a therapist. The husband feels more confident in being able to discuss such a sensitive situation with a stranger, having now shared his feelings with his wife and realising that she is a source of support.
